Throwing in the Towel

“What on earth is going on here?  …and could I have some more milk?”

If you’ve know Kabyn for long you’ve probably seen the above look on his face, which translated to five-week-old little girl somehow looks strikingly similar, equally cute, and yet… still like a little girl.  Not sure how that works… he’s big and strong and hairy-faced and yet the resemblance is there.

As for other resemblance, well, she and I are just not much for good sleeping.  Like right now my baby is asleep, my husband is asleep, I have pretty much been up doing the baby thing since 4 am, and I’m writing a blog post about nothing in particular.  She wanted to do the same thing but I stuffed her in the “Woombie” which is actually the very best baby item ever, stuffed her full of food, and she succombed to some sleep. 

I did learn a good lesson this week.  After five weeks of a baby sleeping only 1) while pretending to still be nursing, 2) while I walked, or 3) on any adoring preferably grandmother-esque women, we finally got her to sleep the first few hours of the night in her little bed (happening right now).  However, for daytime the above 3 times applied.  Here is the irony… I’ve read all the sleeping books on babies there are, I think.  I have a pile of them by my chair here, if you want to borrow one.  Just come and take it… I have so many it probably won’t be missed.  I obsessively have read all about what the baby sleep experts as it were have to say.  And really, it’s sort of simple.  When your baby is tired, put her in her bed.  Know your own baby and learn her “sleepy cues”.  There you have it, the end.  You’d think after six and a half years of grad school in theoretical chemistry this wouldn’t be so difficult.  Hundreds of pages of reading, five weeks of misery and failed attempts (don’t believe these books that tell you if you do X the baby won’t cry when you put her down.  it’s not true.) later, I had hit the end of myself.  I was tired, yes, but six and a half years of grad school does prepare you for that part.  I was also feeling incredibly hopeless, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  Why wouldn’t my baby sleep?!  What was I doing wrong?  And, how would I ever finish that %$#@ing PhD?!?!  That last part is the stressful part.  Without that hanging over my head I wouldn’t really mind holding my baby, walking with her (thanks, Kindra, for 11 hours of walking company this week… and no I’m not kidding or exaggerating!), and essentially never putting her down.  But that degree!  What to do?  After reading all my books cover to cover and feeling quite hopeless, I decided to take the advice of the sermon we heard last Sunday and pray.  So Tuesday night I threw in the towel, prayed, and went to sleep for the night (or “night” as it can be with a baby).  Wednesday Alaythia took five naps, with down to two minutes of crying before! 

And that is the end of my post.

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