Like a Fleeting Shadow

Psalm 144:4 

Man is like a breath;
       his days are like a fleeting shadow.

A few nights ago I dreamt that I was with Alaythia, and one moment she looked like her little baby self, in her pink bunting I so often put her in on these cold days, and the next moment she maybe seven years old and talking to me in real words, with dark hair and a gap between her two front teeth. 

The next day I put her in her little size 3 Months green-with-pink-flowered pajamas I like so much.  I had brought them with us to the hospital to put her in for her trip home, only to find they were way, way too big, so we put her in a 3 Months onesie like it was a nightgown instead.  I wish I had a picture of her in the onesie-nightgown coming home, but were just so tired already by then that we have almost no pictures of her first week.  But here are the green-with-pink pajamas on Alaythia yesterday, which I discovered suddenly seemed almost too small:

carseat_closeup-small

Not her cutest picture but you can see the pajamas.  Later in the day yesterday James Bird came by (he’s quite the baby expert as it turns out), and you can see how the legs of the green pajamas are just a bit too short.

withjames2-small

Looking at Alaythia with James and noticing that all the sudden the green pajamas had gone from too big to too small, I remembered my dream, and realized before I knew it she’d be that girl who could speak real sentences, walk around on her own, and had teeth, maybe even with a gap between the two front teeth.  I read Keisha Brown’s recent blog post that, like other recent posts of Keisha’s, captured the realization that life is fleeting.

Today is my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary.  I’m proud of them for being together for so long, and for making true what my mom says: “each year is better than the last.”  Having been married just over a year, I’m sure if Kabyn and I should be blessed with 30 years it will seem fleeting. 

As my parents celebrated today, a friend of mine mourned.  This morning her baby was stillborn.  I literally cannot imagine the level of pain and devastation she must be enduring.  I have no answers to the questions she must be asking, except to realize what a fallen world we live in.  Babies should not die; no one should have to suffer as my friend, her husband, her family is suffering.  All marriages should last to 30 years.  So many things that we are all so familiar with should not be as they are.  Something in us knows it ought to be otherwise, that we were created for something other than this world we live in.  We hear claims that all bad things are really good things that are for our best in some twisted way, yet we can’t seem to believe it.  We see God bring good from the bad, yet deep down or not so deep down we agonize or just try to hide from the bad.  We want the world we were created for–where all is made new.  Where good things are perfectly good, not always tainted with pain, brokenness, finiteness.  Where life will be as Revelation 21 says:

“Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

 5He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

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