10. You don’t have to find time to shower in the morning, because you’re just going to sweat all day.
9. You don’t have to worry that the organic chicken sausage your child just ate came from a non-free-range chicken. You instead have to worry that the hot dog your child just ate might have had rodent intestinal walls mixed in with the pig intestinal walls.
8. You’re not worried about whether your music selection is as hip as your neighbor’s, because you’re too busy listening to your neighbors’ music while you lay in bed at night.
7. You don’t have to spend half your paycheck at Whole Foods, because there’s produce markets where you can get avocados for 50 cents each, grapes for a dollar a pound, and blueberries for $3 a quart.
6. You don’t have to stress about getting your recycling bin to the curb, because there is no recycling pickup.
5. You don’t have to feel guilty about that one banana peel you put in the trash that one time, because there’s definitely no yard/food waste pickup.
4. If you’re at the zoo with your kid and get a craving for a beer, you don’t have to stuff that craving down. Just buy your beer and walk around looking at animals with beer in hand, like lots of the parents around you are doing. (However, if you’re at the zoo and get a craving for a beer made by anyone other than Anheuser-Busch, you will have to stuff that craving down.)
3. You don’t have to wash many of your child’s shirts, because they’re walking around without a shirt half the time.
2. You don’t have to wash many of your husband’s shirts. Same reason as above.
1. You’re not worried about having just the right clothes, car, food, music, home, decorations, cleaning products, hairstyle, makeup, shoes, or phone. You’re just grateful you have those things.