I have no idea why we decided to have Alaythia without a doula present. We just didn’t know what we were in for, like most first-time birthers. And we definitely regretted it. Things went okay, but I know it would have likely been much better with a good doula. Statistics show any need/desire for intervention or medication is far less with a doula, and I can now see why. Someone who understands what’s going on in your body and how to help you work with it is invaluable at that point. She doesn’t “replace” the dad, she gives him confidence and helps him help the mother. She’s not a doctor or Midwife, but she be more familiar with ways to reduce pain, speed/encourage/slow labor as needed than they are. She can’t guarantee no cesarean and no pitocin, but stats show your chances for such are far better with her there.
Had I known what I knew now, I wouldn’t have hesitated a second in getting one for my first birth. It would’ve really improved how we began the life-changing journey as parents. And having experienced all the ways Bethany helped us have a wonderful experience at Cosette’s birth, I know IF we have another I’m definitely getting one. And in the meantime I am most definitely encouraging any pregnant folks to get one! Birth is way too unpredictable, intense, delicate, and important to risk going without, I say.